Former Muhlenberg soccer player Dave Vassilaros ’03 is on a mission to encourage coaches to prioritize young players’ well-being and personal development over winning.
About three years ago, the club youth soccer team Dave Vassilaros ’03 was coaching gave up seven goals in a game. Following the contest, the angry volunteer coach let his 11-year-old players have it.
“It was embarrassing,” says Vassilaros of his outburst. “I just had this moment where I was like, what am I doing this for? How many activities do we choose to do that make us so angry that we yell at other people? Those are not things that are supposed to be adding value to our lives.” The kids may not have gotten much positive from Vassilaros’ tirade, but it sparked the former Mule All-Centennial Conference forward and Academic All-American to make a change in his life — one that he hopes will have a positive impact on the lives of thousands of young athletes.
“And so I thought, there has got to be a better way,” he says.
That better way is what Vassilaros calls KidFirst Sports. On his website, Vassilaros describes KidFirst Sports as “a movement to change the world by making youth sports an extraordinary LIFE experience.”
In addition to the website, Vassilaros supports his “child-centric” view of youth sports through a podcast, blog posts and live in-person training and speaking engagements with coaches and parents. In the works are a KidFirst course, certification program and book.
“Being KidFirst means that adults set aside their egos, their goals, financial incentives and even their own love for the sports or activities they coach and remember that it’s always about the kids,” said Vassilaros on one of his podcast episodes. “My dream is that every youth coach across the country becomes KidFirst certified, that parents ask their coaches and their clubs and all their organizations that they work with, ‘Are your coaches KidFirst trained and certified? Do they have an approach to teaching and being with my children that puts them first?’”
Vassilaros cites studies that reveal some disturbing statistics on the state of youth sports. About 70 percent of kids quit youth sports by the age of 13. Too often, he says, it’s because adults suck the fun out of it. Of children who play sports in high school, only 3 to 5 percent go on to play at any level in college. Yet 57 percent of parents think that their high school athletes are going to get a scholarship to play college sports.
“Being KidFirst means that adults set aside their egos, their goals, financial incentives and even their own love for the sports or activities they coach and remember that it’s always about the kids.”
—Dave Vassilaros ’03
“What happens when you have a misalignment that’s that huge?” asks Vassilaros, who lives in Idaho with his wife and four sons and is principal of a health care consulting firm. “All the attention and value is placed on something that can only happen statistically for a few people. What lessons are we teaching to the others? That’s where my entire focus is.”
At the core of that focus are what Vassilaros calls his four heart lessons, prerequisites to the life lessons that most people ascribe to participation in sports. The four heart lessons are: one, my coach/ parent believes in me; two, I don’t fear mistakes; three, my value is not my performance; and four, my battle is with my lesser self.
About 70 percent of kids quit youth sports by the age of 13. Too often, Vassilaros says, it’s because adults suck the fun out of it.
“If most kids aren’t going to use athletics as a way to make money, then why do we care how good of a soccer player they are?” says Vassilaros. “What I should care about [as a coach or parent] is if I have instilled these lessons in my child. If 10 million youth really knew these lessons and believed them, it would change the world.”
Vassilaros experienced some of those heart lessons when he came to Muhlenberg as a transfer from Brigham Young University. Already married and with a child, he felt very different from most other Muhlenberg students. In one of his first meetings with then-Head Soccer Coach Jeff Tipping, he was asked about his strengths and weaknesses as a player.
After Vassilaros rattled off some aspects of his game that could use improvement, Tipping said, “I don’t care about those. I want you focused on doing the things that you do best as well as you possibly can.”
“Believe it or not, I was pretty insecure at the time,” says Vassilaros. “And he’s teaching me heart lessons: I believe in you. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes because of your weaknesses.”
After graduating magna cum laude from Muhlenberg with a degree in economics, Vassilaros attended law school at the University of Connecticut and, after a brief time as a lawyer, moved into the health care insurance industry.
He was working as a senior vice president for Benecon Group in Lititz, Pennsylvania, in 2018, when he had a Field of Dreams-style sense that he needed to make a big change. So he moved his family to Idaho, and he hasn’t looked back since.
Vassilaros has recorded more than 30 episodes of his weekly podcast, one of which featured Assistant Professor of Public Health Kathleen Bachynski, an expert in sports safety and youth health, as the guest. He has listeners in 21 countries and often hears from them as they share their experiences.
Recently, a friend’s wife asked Vassilaros’ wife, Bonnie, to thank him for doing the podcast. The husband had been coaching their three sons, and the oldest son didn’t even want to be around his father anymore because of how he was coaching the team.
“Believe me, I know how that feels,” says Vassilaros. “I was that coach. She [the friend’s wife] said that listening to this podcast and learning these principles has saved my husband’s relationship with his kids.
“How many of those stories do you need before you say, ‘Hey, this is good. I’m doing good in the world.’”
Mule Round Up
COMINGS AND GOINGS Brad Hackett, director of cross country and track & field since 1999, announced that he will be retiring at the end of the season. Included on his spectacular resume are 26 All-Americans and the 2005 Centennial Conference women’s outdoor track & field championship … Doug Maynard, who most recently coached the nationally ranked teams at Sewanee, is the Mules’ new tennis coach … FALL CHAMPIONSHIPS Men’s soccer reached the Centennial Conference championship game for the second straight year but lost to Johns Hopkins … Football recorded a postseason win for the sixth straight season, toppling Lebanon Valley 23-7 in a Centennial-MAC Bowl game. Quarterback Joe Repetti ’25 was named CC offensive player of the year, and tight end James Nye ’23 earned a spot on the All-America second team … WINTER SPORTS At press time, both Muhlenberg basketball teams were in strong contention for playoff berths entering the final two weeks of the regular season … Six members of the men’s wrestling team earned regional rankings. The Mules ended their dual-meet schedule with a record of 9-3 … Avery McNulty ’26, who also plays on the women’s basketball team, tied a 23-year-old school record by clearing 5-5 in the high jump.
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